Thursday, June 9, 2016

Evening Memory (Tanka) Comments

Rating: 5.0

Evening softly falls
Blurring the lines of present
I see your pale face
Quite clearly in the darkness
...
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Nosheen Irfan
COMMENTS
Daniel Brick 10 June 2016

This poem is so quiet I felt like I was holding my breath. The past is slowly opening up: the pale face has to clear up, get stronger and sharper, and then the past will be present in the present. And perhaps you and the past person can finally talk things through. But the mood is fragile, you don't want to dispel it.

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Nosheen Irfan 10 June 2016

Thanku for sterling review. It's my first humble attempt at Tanka. Thanks for the boost I needed.

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Kelly Kurt 09 June 2016

I am glad to see you embracing this form. You have done it justice

1 0 Reply
Nosheen Irfan 10 June 2016

Thank u kelly. Its my first try. Thanks for encouragement.

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Barry Middleton 09 June 2016

Very nice! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

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Randhir Kaur 09 June 2016

Blurring the lines of present.... This is so nice to read. Well expressed.

2 0 Reply
M Asim Nehal 09 June 2016

Lost time relieved with this fantastic tanka.10++++

3 0 Reply
Nosheen Irfan

Nosheen Irfan

Lahore, Pakistan
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