Eternal Rain Comments

Hi... Lovely poem, well written. beautifully constructed wordings.. Enjoyed...

in case you don't realize i could offer a shelter when rain (this poem reminds me a scene in manga nabari no o when yukimi says to yoi-te that he could come to his house when need a shelter when rain)

ROBYN - I am honoured to be the first to comment on this lovely poem. In my interpreation I am treating it literally although there are many images here and many different interpretations I could give. The most important facets of any poem are the SUBJECT and the CONTENT. The structure and precise vocabulary can always be revised! ! My first impression is a dream land poem of a stoneage Aborigine going walk about but always returning to his cave. It could equally apply to modern man. (I should point out I have met and conversed with Aborigines - near Sydney - and I did win the Digeridoo contest! !) . The images you create are awesome. V 1 Alone but not lonely - clouds forboding the coming rain. V 2 Distractions - the squatter - causing some anxiety? V 3 The ubiquitous base that all humans seek - a cave - a mud hut - a modern bed-sit - we all need somewhere we call home. V 4 You do not tell us the grief (death of a love one?) which shackles the heart. Is the rain really eternal or is that the impression caused by the depression? . This open-ended ending makes this a great poem capable of many interpretations - I love it. The structure (four balanced triplets) and the full rhyme in the final word in each verse (remain - wane - chain - rain) gives a very smooth flow to the poem reminiscent of Falling Rain. There is no metric pattern - however because the lines are short this does not restrict the flow or hamper its reciteability. I am a Performance Poet and this poem recites beautifully. Thanks for sharing - Yours in poetry - JOHN. .