Enigma Comments

I like the assertive voice that rings out in this one and some of the lines are superb. A few suggestions, if I may? I'd delet the first couplet - it's been said before - and begin your poem with the much more arresting words 'I am a girl with the mind of an eagle'. I'd also cut the words 'all around' in the next line - tautological. Also delet the word 'leave' in the line 'don't you leave disappear' (suspect this may be a typo) . FInally I'd leave out 'so don't lose your conviction in me'. I think you get your message over more strongly without it. Kimberley, I offer these suggestions because I think you're a very talented writer and deserve more than just a pat on the back. Welcome to PoemHunter. love, Allie xxxx

That was very deep and seems like this came straight from your soul :) i love it