Friday, February 3, 2006

Encounter Comments

Rating: 3.2

Ack, ack, the sound of machine-gun
Pounds like a hammer in the brain,
The laughter of a toothless ghoul
Who cackles once again
...
Read full text

Tan Pratonix
COMMENTS
Seamus O Brian 03 December 2016

Staccato rhythm, like the fire of a machine gun. Disturbingly vivid. Compelling and tragic. Good write, dear sir.

0 0 Reply
Lawrence S. Pertillar 03 February 2006

Tan, this line...'In spate of harsh saliva' (? ? ?) Suggestion: 'And spate out harsh saliva'...It flows that way to me. But, this isn't my work AND...I know this. Nice rhythm...kind of a syncopated delivery. I like that!

0 0 Reply
Tan Pratonix

Tan Pratonix

Triolet, Mauritius
Close
Error Success