Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Embers! ! ! Comments

Rating: 4.3

Whatever cool,
calm and serene was there in life,
it was there only when they were alive
my parents!
...
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Shahzia Batool
COMMENTS
Heather Wilkins 08 June 2013

life is difficult after the death of a love one. they continue on in our minds.

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Heather Wilkins 08 June 2013

death can only take the physical, but can never touch love, thoughts and memories.

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Saadat Tahir 04 June 2013

The rather lengthy and drawn out rendering is at once an emotive work and a jarring reminder of the vagaries of life and death. The inevitability of the grim reapers call…. Can we, can any one, ever grow out of the trauma of the loss of loved ones. Perceptions here take on a religious and accepted route of expression, the poet has a found a comfortable and easy way out to articulate the much needed and pent up sentiments….a catharsis of sorts. Free verse is well! Free and devoid of any restrictions in as much as we encounter in structured classical and traditional forms. I feel the meandering and off handed approach here, has added to the emotive strength of the poem and has supplemented rather then subtracted from its otherworldly pain. It is written almost in a crazed daze, a delusional incubus, only the one suffering can achieve that state of thrashing trance of anguish Content wise and contextually moving lines. and a * for Jasmeen for picking out the embellishment.

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Sun Shine 03 June 2013

very emotional... sad!

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Valerie Dohren 26 May 2013

I lost both of my parents when I was young, so I have spent most of my life without them. I understand fully the feelings you express here Shahzia. Very well written.

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Yasmin Khan 26 May 2013

You are basking in memories of your dear parents, yes dear friend their souls are never parted from us. Use of a line from the great master like Donne has rendered further depth to your poem. You rather accept the reality of death positively. It shows your composure and depth.

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R.j. Wynn 25 May 2013

A great way to reignite that love at which you begin you also end in embers embraced.

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Unwritten Soul 25 May 2013

Your soul release all what hidden and open from your chest to scatter around your life...showing all you have inside...it is good to tell this way, heartfelt...and it is lovely and intense at same time! _Soul

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Valsa George 25 May 2013

Shahzia, what better tribute can we give to our parents whose whole life has been an enduring legacy! Leaving fond memories in us, they have left! They are now with God and at peace! So why grieve over their death? At a time when aged parents are regarded as a burden, this is a proclamation to the world that there are children who recount the blessings of being with their parents and that the embers of love sparked by those revered lives still linger on in their lives!

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Tribhawan Kaul 25 May 2013

A very powerful poem. Death makes us realise that we all are mortals indeed. Yet life after death of one's nears and dears leave a huge void never to be filled again. Yet the death can not conquer ones mind. It can not snatch away the memories of departed. I like the lines''Death! be not proud! ' if you were really a mighty being, you would take the memories with you too'.... well said. Beautiful poem.

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David Wood 25 May 2013

We have to take everything that life throws at us and death of a loved one is the hardest thing to cope with. Have a read of my Sonnet XIV, it is similar.

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Jahan Zeb 23 May 2013

I would say you have chosen a very strong subject. I will call this piece, a Maxim. Every line is so true and more importantly it reflects the love of a daughter for her parents. Indeed your parents would be proud of you as I keep saying I am proud of your brilliance. I loved the use of but where optimism has replaced sadness. May Your Parents be in Peace. Perfect theme, Marvelous subject and beautifully written by a Brilliant writer.

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Farah Ilyas 23 May 2013

May there soul in rest & peace (aamin) ...the subject of a poem is very touching & full of sorrow, a bitter reality everyone have to go sooner or later, a positive attitude towards death....brilliant.

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Chandra Thiagarajan 23 May 2013

Shahzia, what a poignant and touching write with parents gone! I t seems to mirror my very feelings and I feel I could have written the poem! I couldn't complete reading it without tears! Such a powerful poem which squeezes the heart! Thanks for sharing!

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R.k Das 23 May 2013

the moments live, , come alive, , and i join you and Donne is sympathizing with poor 'death'/// this long poem actually reads like 2 poems, the first part, , remembering the parents, , , , ' that at least they can see me; they are not going to come, ''' so much positivism about death, , thanx, , ,

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Tajudeen Shah 22 May 2013

Close observation on the theme, sharp analysis as well. Despite of form or conventional poetic make ups, the thought has all its worthy sensibility all over. Well-penned to justify, rather establish what the Bard has felt at the time of versification. That itself stands out. God Bless. Regards.

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Indira Babbellapati 22 May 2013

Death of dear ones always leaves a void that can never be filled but one has to move, move with the idea that they're still alive and they're alive as long as we are! And parents make for our solidity and they are our emotional fillip to such an extent that even if they lived into our 70s, we feel a major part of us is severed at their death. Ah, what are we but for them in spite of the fact that we are parents ourselves! I am with u dear MS. Shazia...

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Good feeling about parents remains for life. They performed their duty. Now it is our turn. i cherish and will keep on cherishing forever Nicely stated. Thank you.

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Passionate Reader 22 May 2013

awesome, striking! ! ! ! ! ! im speechless, the subject is so touchy. Life was life worthy and worth-living and now when they are no more it has become a compulsion and an obligation loved this one! ! ! there is a strong message that death is inevitable but our loved ones, especially parents, are always with us, even death cant make a difference. yes! death is no parting as we can cherish the memories throughout our lives! ! ! ! ! ! Death, you cant kill. you can hide aface but not the memories of that face that i cherish and will keep on cherishing forever; stay blessed! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

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R.j. Wynn 22 May 2013

I miss mine too! I hate it that they are gone, I don't like the dreams, IIII want to be free.

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Shahzia Batool

Shahzia Batool

Pakistan
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