Eighteen Poem by Cloe C

i have 90 more days till I'm living on my own
I'm trying to prove I can make it all alone
90 days till I can get tattoos
an extra 3 years to legally buy booze

I want to prove them all wrong
and show I've always belonged
anywhere anyone looks
I'm hiding in all of the nooks

I'm all over the streets
and find myself waking up in too many people's sheets
atleast I'm searching for princess treatment
and getting left with hickeys as achievements

so I drink till I can't recall
when my life starting becoming a freefall
I'm falling through the face of the Earth
still questioning my life's worth

trying to make it all worth it
and trying not to commit
reaching out to my closest friends
an attempt to make my life extend

everyday I'm slowly breaking down
but I'm still trying to earn my crown
in 90 days I'll be eighteen
I'm still trying to learn how to be a humble queen

everything is so hard to achieve
everyone I love wants to leave
i give my all and shower others in affection
leaving my heart without any protection

my heart has been stomped on and shattered
everytime I tried to give my love I was battered
so I keep searching for someone right
to make love worth the fight

i keep all my friends in the tightest grip
because I wouldn't want to live without their relationships
they give great advice and tell me what to do
anytime I have no clue

i turn to the ones that can't live without me
they help clean all my broken heart debris
but it doesn't help me truly heal
it just helps me turn my heart into steel

I've turned my stomach to brass
from drinking and smoking all this grass
drinking and hoping my problems digest
this is the way I get weight off my chest

inhaling hazy air
trying to outweigh the despair
running from my past
trying to have all my problems surpassed

but I can't see what's up ahead
when everywhere I turn is a dead end
my past creeps up and takes away my vision
and maybe this is why I only make bad decisions

im staying away from crime
but everyone says give it time
I'll be 18 in 90 more days
and everyday I've lived in a maze