Sunday, January 10, 2010

Drowning (1/10/10) Comments

Rating: 4.8

Heart as dark as a lifeless night sky
Or a black sea, silent and still
And in this night sky she is falling
And in this black sea she is drowning
...
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Kayleigh ....
COMMENTS
Empath In Flames 12 January 2010

A very smart piece, well portrayed

1 0 Reply
Gomer Lepoet 11 January 2010

Kayleigh, I'm not sure why you would ask me to evaluate your poems. I am at best an amature myself. The only thing that I try to do, and this is because I am a musician, is to maintain a rhythm of the lyric. I imagine a beat in the background while I recite the poem to myself, and make changes that fit the beat. I'm not saying this is the right way or the wrong way, but this is my way. I try to have something to say that is thoughtful, entertaining, and has a rhythm. I would like you to read my poems 'fine things' or 'Famous Lines'. Keep writing....

0 1 Reply

A very sad but very interesting piece. Thanks for sharing.

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