Do You Remember What It Was Like? Comments

See, you whine, you get comments. Which is kind of a confirmation of the message of the poem. You need to fix some spelling, lose some commas. Not sure if the 'even though I don; t have a cop' works. It's a funny image, but it pulls the reader away from the 'falling' metaphor which is powerful. And this is controversial... Is it good to repeat the line twice in the last stanza? I admit, it does something interesting in my head... but it is against THE RULES... Oh screw it, it's nice. It seems like it should have a soundtrack to it, maybe by Angelo Badalamenti.

A lot of thought here. Patricia Gale

wow! it's a strong poem! letting some guilt take over! and having a high judgment criteria! I like it, it makes us think!