Do You? Poem by Alicia Mogollón

do you understand
do you know what it's like
how it is
to feel as if you cannot trust anyone
because
what if i told one person
that it feels like my head is spinning with
all the things i could have done differently
spinning back & forth
and i tell myself it is pointless
to dwell on the past like that
but the thoughts still keep coming
yet they are never complete thoughts
because my rational mind keeps cutting them off
what if i told one person
it is as if many lunatics were dancing frantically
about in my head
all babbling loudly
and only bits of sense come through
to my conscious mind
only bits of clarity
and the regreats
are the loudest maniacs in my head
drowning out the poets, the geniuses
pushing them back with
wicked
leering grins
and so i feel i must kill them
annihilate those regret lunatics
cause they're giving me a 'freaking'
headache
what if i told one person
what if i told you
now do you see
do you understand
how i
cannot
trust
anyone?