Discordant Voice Comments

Reminds me of Dambudzo. Good Rich stuff

any poet needs the critics. am no exception

Though its a sad poem about poverty and despair it ends with a positive note. That is what makes the poem interesting in the end. Very nice and Congrats.

Poverty! ! With the muse of life. Thanks for sharing this poem with us.

the sun is there to shine only

...........................................hoping that the sun will shine once more that there will be reverberations of laughter....................................... Yes, we hope it all throughout the third world of suffering and distress. Thanks for sending.

Great choice of title. I think I see this as a modern, un-rhymned sonnet. And I love the flow of it's construction. Even as it's divided into two equal stanzas of 7 lines each, the logic of the argument, the logic of the lyric is set up with an opening couplet and at the end a closing couplet. Two line of introduction, two lines of summation. Sandwiched between in the first stanza is the accusation, the wake-up call, the plea to snap out of it and pay attention. Switching over to the second stanza the train leaves the station on a tour of the indignities and inhumanities taking place all around. And this is where the poem absolutely sings. I mean literally. The music of this lines is sublime. The mellifluous of the consonance and assonance of these lines forces the pace along with a beauty of sound that belies the ugliness of what's being said. It's a masterstroke. And curls back on the opening couplet with a superb sense of irony. These lines particularly are such a sweet melody and yet are full of the discord the narrator promises to deliver. I think this is really a poem of startling depth and beauty.

The sun will shine once more..... congrats on being chosen.. a big 10+++++++

desperation walking along the streets hunger thunder rumbling in the bellies the mountains of hopelessness rising.... // These are the expressions of distress felt by a sensitive soul who has seen destitute people and poverty all around. Thanks for sharing this observation.

a poem with a strong message of hope for a better more sharing world in which to live? .............superbly written.

Congratulations... Love it and enjoy it... Very optimistic poem.

Liked the Verses..see the rising storms of poverty desperation walking along the streets hunger thunder rumbling in the bellies the mountains of hopelessness rising

Very Beautifully Expressed.. Strong words and vivid Write! ! Thank you for sharing Poet 10++++!

Beautiful poem creating awareness towards the miseries shaking the conscienouness of the unawared ending with a hope, which always sustain lives.