'Despair Of My Dreams' Comments

this is amazing, i abosultely love this

You have certainly poured your heart out in this passionate poem about yearning and despair, but I think the poem is much too repetitive. You say the same thing (almost) in every stanza and I think you could cull at least 50% and make the poem stronger and more readable. The hardest thing a poet can do is cut words, particularly when those words matter, but, just as the gardener must prune the tree in order to grow the finest fruit, so the poet needs to cut unnecessary words in order for those that remain to have space to breath. Notwithstanding this criticism, there are some lovely images in your poem and a feeling for phrasing that is very fine. Love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

wonderfully written every word reminded me of at least one person who i've lost or who is far away from me loved it 10 from me

every word used has true meaning i love it

Touched my heart, very nice poem, close to my life.10..I'll be reading more of yours soon.

Expressive words..full of strong emotions... Very beautiful..and creative.. Great write!

Beautifully written my friend... You know by default, how to give words to your emotions... Keep writing... Thanks for sharing...

that's really a nice poem............ having ur lover far away does hurt! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

another impressive one! however, i do have an issue about the rhyming...i would advise that if u go with a-b-a-b then it's better to stick to it cos different sets of rhyming may make the entire poem sounded a lil' messy...and about the slang...like 'nothin'..try to advoid them in poetry unless u put 'open inverted commas' or it's bout a conversation..so try to avoid that..but overall, i found ur poem very well structured except for the rhymes...other than that, this is a fantastic piece for ur age...the emotions are well narrated..well done!