Desolate In Dry Lands. Poem by Sandra jacks

Lost within the color,
so blinding,
who is this person,
I can not see.
The more I play along,
pretending,
the guilt,
it overtakes, and
destroys me.

This vibrancy of all the people,
calling out my name,
you are wonderful,
you are beautiful,
but they do not know,
they can not see,
so much more within this heart of mine,
is burning,
for the nations,
I once left behind.
for my people,
for my love,
who am I,
who am I,
who am I,
WHO....am....


frozen between time and space,
am I wrong to stay here,
was I a m-i-s-t-a-k-e,
never meant to be born,
and accident,
a curse,
never meant for life.
or love.

burning in me,
this fire of yours,
my fire has died down,
so filled with all the other things,
that tear this person,
tear at my soul like nails on a chalk board.

lost.

without hope.

without value.

alone.

desolate in dry lands.
so empty i feel hollowed out.
so lost i feel gone.
so sad I feel nothing,
quite at all,
but the guilt,
because i needed the thrill.
I am no one,
I am useless, soulless, spiritless.

nothing.
Who Am I.
I am nothing