Monday, November 30, 2015

Death Of A Crane Comments

Rating: 5.0

It was a Devi temple
In my native town
Where I had the darshan of the Devi
The Mother of the Universe
...
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Madathil Rajendran Nair
COMMENTS
Edmund Strolis 26 November 2016

Within this poem, this narrative is found the heart and soul of a story-teller. This temple came to life, this anxious meeting of man and fellow creature, this universal empathy. The eyes and beak. The prayer for mercy and then deliverance. This tragic feathery mess where once the regal being stood prominent and erect now scattered and shattered on a dusty concrete slab. Never to rise again. The dignity and freedom of death. The compassion is touching and a masterful tribute to ones humanity as well as a recognition of our common decency.

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Bri Edwards 01 October 2016

i am anxious to finish reading, but the ghosts of English teachers past are urging, nay nagging, me to ask: That had my heart stashed and bleeding...............slashed? ? do i have this right/correct: YOU want to be the (next) crane to die, examined and mourned by worshipers? and to have that happen, you would like me to shoot you? ? ? that may be impossible, as i have no gun and am too far away to get a good shot at you anyway. Shoot me please If you mind.................i can see how If you mind could fit here, but i'd be more apt to use If you don't mind. i like the word ilk. thanks for the Poet's Notes. you really know how to move a story along and make it almost as if the reader is there. i wondered, on a serious note, if you wished to die in order to receive whatever comes after death. and, of course, the story may not have involved YOU at all. favorite lines: What remained perhaps alive Against the onslaught of ants Were her eyes, yellow-rimmed Her beak again yellow and a moving head yesterday, on a walk, i came upon a dead Eurasian Collared Dove, on its back at the edge of the road. i admired it unruffled plumage, unsullied by gore or disfiguration. i used my foot to turn it onto its belly. i took photos of my foot next to it with my phone. a beautiful bird. bri ;)

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Thanks for your painstaking reading. You are right it should be 'slashed'. Don't know how it escaped my attention. Since we are on that now, I am considering using the word gashed instead. Also, I accept your suggestion about if you mind. This poem was written in less than half an hour. It was so emotional that I didn't sort of bother much about the grammar. A meticulous reading would have harmed the beauty of it as a whole. That wish to die is difficult to explain. She is the Mother Of The Universe and the poet thinks that the crane was fortunate to breath its last right before Her. (To Die Watched By Gods is in fact the title of another poem of mine at PH.) That meant that the bird was instantly liberated from the cycle of unending births and deaths and taken personally by Her to Her abode of everywhere. The poet envies the luck of the bird and wants to die prostrating before the Mother. I am aware such thought might be very strange and alien to you as an outsider. Thanks once again for reading and saying good things about the poem.

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Tirupathi Chandrupatla 14 February 2016

The feelings of a compassionate soul are delivered to hit the heart. Yes, the crane stands higher than any living being. Let those who bring him to that stage learn a lesson. Thank you.

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Edward Kofi Louis 07 January 2016

Unknown! But, with the works of nature. Thanks for sharing.

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Rajesh Thankappan 06 December 2015

The juxtaposing of the grandeur of the goddess and pitiable condition of the dying crane makes this poem go straight into the heart and settle right there.

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R.c. Nair 01 December 2015

What a work! Enjoyed reading. We are all dying cranes wishing to be taken away to the abode of Mother Devi by her! Only the blessed ones could achieve it! May Amma Mahamaya bless us all! -RC

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Valsa George 01 December 2015

How even the death of a crane can move you to tears! You have an amazing power to make the feelings expressed in your poems shared by those who read you! But if you long to be the dying crane, won't your dear ones and others who are close to you have the same feelings you had on watching the crane die? A compelling read!

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Madathil Rajendran Nair 01 December 2015

Thanks for pausing to comment. Yes, let my dear ones and those who are close to me just join in this universal empathy. Our world would be made.

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Kelly Kurt 30 November 2015

A compelling write. I was entertained, enlightened and touched.

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Rajnish Manga 30 November 2015

I am overwhelmed to read this emotional narrative about the Devi Darshan, the condition of a dying crane, a teary prayer for that crane, Mother Goddess mercifully takes that crane to Her abode and finally your wish to be a crane is just amazing. Thanks.

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Mark Heathcote 30 November 2015

What a wonderful extraordinary poem great write.10

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Madathil Rajendran Nair

Madathil Rajendran Nair

Bombay, India
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