Dear John Poem by Nell Sheridan

Dear John…
I am one of the last people, you ever got to see,
Yesthose flowers of orange and white, theywere from me,
I was there in the ambulance, holding firm your hand,
Through those raspy breaths,I managed to understand,
" Yes the baby she is okay" she was perched upon my lap,
Some bumps and bruises, very shaken by the whole mishap,

As for me I am tough, internal bleed and just a broken bone,
I guess some shock, to which all accident victims are prone,
They saved my unborn child,I thought you should know,
He was born healthy, with every chance to live and grow,

I am grateful for his life, in a thousand varied ways,
Many times passed, I have contemplated as this event replays,
I hear the noise, feel the Impact and watch on so helplessly,
Not a year passes, that I do not wish I could change it forthrightly,

Not a year passed, that I do not relive that fateful moment,
However to your memory, I have remained at the very least consistent,
The guilt it erodesme, from the very insideto the outside,
Others offer advice, their well meaning opinion'sdo divide,

I challenge them, to be me as the memories do invade,
I challenge them, for that moment with me to just trade,
For twenty years now gone, I have mourned your passing,
For twenty years now gone, this pain has continued burning,

I do not know, if you ever made it home to rest with family,
I hope and pray, your at rest with the peace I lack similarly,
I hope my God, didn't let you down and your now at peace,
My children's thanks and love, and mine as I search for release,

Gods speed my friend,fly high and happy forever absentoffear,
With flowers of orange and white, we will see you next year.

Rest in peace John
21082018