Day 124. The Adventure Of Government Double-Speak And Red-Tape And Confusion In Triplicate. Comments
I'm getting too old for this legal-beagle stuff
I'm far too old to play rough and tough...
I think I need to take a drive,
a long, long top-down wind-in-the-face drive
...
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Sometimes we write something that flows with deep-felt joy out of our pen and it feels soooooooo good when another human being submerges himself in your world for the moment... thank you friend Soran for the encouragement you always give us all
This is a revelation and revolution at the same time, reminds me with the Robert Frost's poem, but her the naturalism is a favour way for refusing the complications of the modern life, madness of the decision makers, corruption...etc, the purest soul of the poem here finding the right place to rest for short while, brilliant our dear poet with a big 10+ and definitely it goes into my treasure chest
beyond all the pine-cone popping, wind-rustling silence of the forest primeval and its needle clad giants where I breathe in fountains of crisp, evergreen air and where I exhale the and smog of city streets and watch ghostly deer flicker in and out of the trees... and there take my rest in a land that's still free.
up into the mountains up into their blue haze winding my way up into the ancient of days into the beginning of time where life begun
Wow! With that fantastic title, I wasn't expecting this breath of fresh air! It made be long to return to Vancouver. Susan, thank you for this peaceful adventure. And for the awesome visual meditation!
Richard, I am delighted to give you this moment! ! Your comment is the best reward for having written this piece! ! Thank you!
This poem is really a brilliant poem with nice theme having haunting expression that attracts me to read over and over again. I in many times want to read the last four lines.
oh! ! ! thank you for pointing out the closing four lines as having special attraction for you- -that helps me in developing poetic skills
This excellent poem, Just swoops you away Almost like flying, Revives worn, torn blood With beauty, undying Was just blown away by this poem, Like a twirling leaf follows its Autumn. Reminded me, with its passion and musicality of Sea Ferver by John Masefield one of the best ever written. Yours, in the same category.
Dang it, girl, you can't set your pen to paper without flowing poetic ink.... makes me wonder what your checks are like! ! ! ! You are a marvel, my friend. Thank you for your encouragement- -you have no idea how I wish you could accompany me in some of my life's harder hours- -you would have be bobbing merrily down the stream instead of going under. You are a star in PH's sky, a brilliant star
Money never is poetic, But wonder Susan would write different checks, That never would be pathetic, Just full of kindness and tenderness. Thanks so much for these undeserved but MARVELOUS, kind words. My thoughts and spirit, are always with you, just wanted you to know.
A real kick your shoes off and feel the sand between your toes poem. That's what I love to do just get-away for the day either to the beach or a drive to a beautiful spot and just absorb. Shake off the worries draw in a lung full of fresh crisp mountain air and chill. Love it...10+
Exactly! ! ! ! ! I think I should get you to write my poems! ! ! ! You always get what I am trying to discuss and put it in better language that I do.! ! ! This is what I was trying to say: A real kick your shoes off and feel the sand between your toes
Wonderful imaginary and imagery. The beginning arena of this poem is most touching and attractive. It may quote..... I 'm getting too old for this legal-beagle stuff I'm far too old to play rough and tough... I think I need to take a drive, a long, long top-down wind-in-the-face drive up into the mountains up into their blue haze winding my way up into the ancient of days into the beginning of time where life begun Beautifully crafted with reassuring imagery. Thanks.
Thank you for reading and commenting- especially for pointing out what worked for you
This is a second glance at this poem, and I can't believe I did not comment previously, especially since escaping to the mountains is one my all time favorite ways of surviving this oft-chaotic life. :) I enjoy particularly the pace of the work, it takes on the cadence of the journey. The informal vernacular, the lengthy but comfortable lines that unwind themselves easily, the meter of the phrasing all create a work in motion, but it ironically is not the pace of someone leisurely sight-seeing. It is indeed the pace of someone with somewhere to go, a slight urgency to leave behind behind and get where there is now. To hurry up and breathe. This piece is well-fashioned and a joy to read. To breathe in and hold there for a moment, slowly exhaling its goodness. Thank you, Susan.
Wow! You know a considerable amount about the mechanics of writing poetry! I sincerely hope you comment on more of my poems- -I get the feeling I could learn a lot from reading them. I enjoy the heck out of writing poetry but I know zip especially about meter and rhythm. In other words I just struggle, wrestle, and put those words into a head lock until they mostly sound the way I want them to sound when I read them aloud. Thank you, thank you, thank you for such an intelligent examination and I am so pleased you enjoyed the read! !
Expresses very well for me the utter amazement, glory and sheer enjoyment of being in the mountains - wonderful! Thank you.
I am tickled with how pleased you are with this trip to the mountains- that is why poets write... to share an experience with a reader and enrich their life even if only a little bit. I hope you find other poems in my little library that you will enjoy. Thank you so much for coming and reading and commenting!
A careless reader might call this poem an escapist fantasy, but it most definitely is not escapist. It's rather a moral tale of how a person of spirit and vision copes with the alien trends in her society/government. Ideally, a democratic society should provide vision for a spiritual person; when that fails due to greed, hypocrisy, pettiness, etc. you have to find your bearings in a journey of discovery which is also a paen to the natural beauty of your country. In those heights in the presence of the purity which should characterize politics you find your center and will return to the society below refreshed, energized, ready to be a witness to our society's higher values. I've been re-reading Thoreau this summer. This is a poem whose vision he would endorse. Day 125 will be better because you have written it!
WoW! ! ! ! Thank you for such an insightful comment on this poem- I wish I could write intelligent comments like you do- -Professor Daniel, author of Ophelia in Three Acts, you are the blessing of PoemHunter both in the education we receive from you and the warm support. As far as my poem, I fear our society is driving people to seek spirituality that is lacking in our cities and towns in various places- God's Creation is one of the most positive places we can go.. Thank you, Daniel, for your kind conclusion..
...and I forgot to mention how your type of rhyming and choice of words mimics the double speak and triplicate clever girl! ;) Love it!
Yes yes yes! ! ! ! Thank you! ! ! You are a very clever reader, my dear! ! !
I like the way you played with rhyme in this poem. I could see you saying all of these things! I know I'm not supposed to assume who the speaker is and we've never met, but.... Yes, I think sometimes, we need to reconvene with nature, somewhere that looks like the top of the world, to reconnect, regain perspective, and reset! Thanks for your lovely poem! Take care...
Thank you! I had such fun playing with rhyme in this poem- -that is rare for me. I usually go for the flow with inner rhymes but this poem- end of line rhyming just for once came pretty naturally and IT MADE SENSE! ! ! ! ! Twas me speaking and the next time I drive up to the mountains and speak to that part of my soul I find up there, I am going to take you with me! ! ! ! Might make an interesting poem... Pamela and Susan... they'll make a movie about us... hopefully they won't have us go sailing off into the Grand Canyon. I picture more a riding off into the sunset with a pair of cowboys [insert Sam Elliot, Tom Selleck, Robert Redford here...] Yes! ! ! Thank you for your kind words, my friend!
This is a wonderful poem, Susan. I'm getting too old for this legal-beagle stuff I'm far too old to play rough and tough... I think I need to take a drive, a long, long top-down wind-in-the-face drive How about: I'm getting too old for this legal-beagle stuff I'm far too old to play rough and tough... I think I need to take a dive, Down in the ocean where the fishes thrive, And if the fish don't want to play I'll be back to try another day... I already have a cowboy hat, so I don't need to buy one like MJ. I love the images evoked here. Great job.
Hahahahahahaha. Love your dive into the ocean- -I like to play with fishes but it's those giant toothy fishes I would rather not come a-callin'.... I hope your cowboy hat is old and battered and your cowboy boots scuffed up by the years! I'm very glad you enjoyed the images without them the poem would have been flat and boring!
Into the mountains to rest my mind. Thanks for sharing this poem with us.
Susan, I think I'm Gonna Buy a Hat and join you....this poem, - the words, the lyrics (?) - works so well with the classic Chris Rea music. A great poem.
Oh, I need to listen to Chris Rea music! I did not purposely write these lines as lyrics but that would be cool if they worked as lyrics for a song... yes, we could wear our cowboy hats and drive up into the mountains with the top down, singing songs!
Sweet escape of body and mind, For our natural way of life to find, You're poem breaths of life anew, And does return to Nature's brew, To simple beauty of this world Without the miseries we have hurled, And all the labyrinths we have swirled, Return to simple things we knew, With peace and love, the Earth renew, The reader follows, admires you, Feeling the peace and love So well, projected, here renewed. Excellent and very inspiring poem. Your lyre plays a very special tune, Pleasing to us, reaching the moon.
Sandra, I am as always pleased with your comment- -you take that extra time and effort to turn your comments into poems. That is so endearing as well as speaking to your avid love of poetry. I am happy to see that you followed me in that drive up into the mountains and found your re-energizing peace up there as well. Thank you kindly, Sandra, for making me smile
Susan, Great poem! Red tape and beaurocratic apathy are universal, I realize. Your words, wishing to drive into the ancient of days, into the beginning of time where life began yearning for a phenomenal escape from world not mere apathy, but an inherent animosity to the poor.
You understand so well! Thank you for your constancy in coming and reading over my new poems and giving me a comment that is supportive as well as informative as to what you, the reader, gets out of this poem.
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7/18/2025 10:46:07 PM # 1.0.0
Robert, WoW! ! ! ! Those kind of comments encourage me to keep trying to write better and better! ! Thank you! !