Dark Room Comments
In a dark room I lie bruised and beaten.
You lock me in yelling and you threaten.
Breathing hard tears falling. Rolling into a ball.
It hurts to crawl. Let alone move. Ive got nothing to prove.
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A very intense piece exposing brutality at its worst, but I agree with William you need to revise it substantively to bring out its poetic worth..
Brutal as a fist in the face. (But needs structural revision.) drb
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7/28/2025 4:16:28 PM # 1.0.0
A great read. Violence is a great devourer seeking whomever he can consume.