Sunday, July 2, 2017

Dark Eyes Comments

Rating: 5.0

Pools of dark oil.
see, the reflection of the sun.
Leaving green and hazel blue.
blue eyes searching the sky.
...
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John Shea
COMMENTS
Jefferson Carter 02 July 2017

John, I like that on the edge of the green, but the poem is harmed by your strange use of capitalization. Why capital P? Capital L? Sate is a non-word and a real problem as the last word in the poem. Maybe read lots of good contemporary poetry to improve (Mary Oliver? Donald Hall?) If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it, and, if you do, perhaps share it with interested friends. Thanks! Yrs, JC

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John Shea

John Shea

Cherry Point N.C.
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