Custody Not Care Survival Comments

Bev - Poetry unites all souls. You would be surprised how little you can say, and at the same time so much. Keep writing - Cheryl

Such a deep and moving poem on so many levels, Brilliant

Bev, you certainly pour your heart out in this impassioned poem that is written from bitter experience, methinks. There is a strong feel of rap poetry about the piece (writing from the young man's point of view, I suspect) , though your rhythmic structure is uneven and lacks the even beat of rap style. My main criticism is the length of the poem. You tell the reader every sordid detail of your story, rather than letting him or her flesh out the narrative. Sadly, I fear that some readers might not have the stamina to complete the read. Which is a pity, because you have something important to say. In my experience though, most poems need a good prune before submitting them publicly. That being said, I applaud you for sharing such a difficult subject and wish you well in your subsequent poetic expression. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

well done...beautiful...thanks for sharing

A very nice poem. Keep writing like this. Best wishes.

Oh just awesome Bev. A disturbing and troubled write...we humans have so far to go to be humane to one another. God bless and hugs from me.

A fine piece indeed! words/verses emitting lot thoughts and beauty! ..........10+++

God hear my call Give me spiritual strength to stand tall i am yet speechless by the prayer and really we need the bliss by swing across the eternal flow, and He is the real custodian as when we are inflicted by the wrong swing in the critical plexus of living, wonderfully depcted story of healing up by the doctor and other assitance, unique flow of words form within by an adfdicted person as when thinking to be tossing up, yet ingenious write by lucid flow, yet of unique genre, i do appreciate,10+, thanks for sharing

Hi Bev! Welcome to PH! My minds dancing in jubilant, in tune with your enchanting first masterpiece.yes, to me, by all means its an absolute masterpiece.Bring them on Bev! Im gonna look up for you.