Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Crushed Comments

Rating: 4.5

The silence - it simply deafens
Only, do i hear my pounding heart
As you walk out of my lifetime-this day
...As you look to make- -a brand new start.
...
Read full text

Theodora (Theo) Onken
COMMENTS
Susan Williams 10 February 2017

You really captured that sense of What-is-wrong-with-me that happens when the man follows his wandering eyes and...other body parts. You captured that intense pain and loneliness and jealousy that entangles the deserted woman who unfortunately was still in love. Why oh why can't people fall out of love at the same exact moment- - what a mountain of emotional debacles would be avoided by such excellent organization. I thought that your poetic skills are unleashed on this poem with exceptional results. Well-done, Theo, well done. 10++++++++

3 0 Reply
Kim Barney 02 December 2016

I, too, am glad to know that this was fictional. Thanks for including the poet's note. So many times I have had to comment on similar poems without knowing if they were fictional or not. This is very well done, by the way. Your imagination did you proud, as they say.

17 0 Reply
Theodora Onken 02 December 2016

Thank you so much Kim for your wonderful words. It is, indeed, quite and honor coming from a poet of your high caliber! Yes, many of my writes are fictional unless state otherwise. Again, Thank You! !

0 0
S.zaynab Kamoonpuri 28 November 2016

Glad to know this is fictional. Bu yor imagination then is vivid and awesome Sth I don't have since I can only wrie realities I have witnessed or experienced. The rhyming ballad is fabulously done and content appealing. Portrays jilted love so well wowwww. I hardly rate bu this I do 10. Great to read from u again. Hope u will my latest too titled ashurah.

19 0 Reply
Theodora Onken 02 December 2016

Thank you Zaynub for reading my words and commenting. I truly appreciate your taking the time. Was beginning to think i needed to stop posting as no one seems to want to read or comment on my work any more. Anyway, thank you again. i will go read your poem ashurah.

0 0
Theodora (Theo) Onken

Theodora (Theo) Onken

Washington State
Close
Error Success