Crush My Dirty Little Heart Poem by Paula Glynn

Once a powerful prince or prim princess
From an ancient and magical fairytale
With sparkling blue eyes and a glass of white wine
With royal standard and expensive clothing
And with an air of timeless elegance

But soon that classic facade crumbles
Soon the handsome prince
Soon the yellow dressed pretty princess
Change their faces into the truly ugly:
Changing those quirks into the unpleasant

Threats and annoyance
Immaturity and insolence
Being a vicious and selfish spoilt brat
Rather than that exotic being
Rather than that mature charisma

They soon to hiss and spit
Their once clever fake image to fade
Their once alluring angel eyes
To become hard and grey and angry
Their hairstyle now only predictable

They lie and cheat
They have blood on their hands
They play tricks and games
They play nasty and vicious games
They play dirty: criminals their name

A relationship with such a person
Leaving scars on my dirty little heart
Leaving my face bruised and drowning in tears
Leaving me to wallow in never-ending fears
My trust of others destroyed

Not having realised my boyfriend
A narcissist: close to psychopathic
Traits I blame myself for not seeing
Me having just been his meat
Not knowing his hatred of me so deep

I could never date such a person again
My eyes colder with their viewpoint
Knowing not all it seems
Knowing people fake it to make it
Knowing some people only desiring power

Through all the violence, tears and fears
That will last throughout the years
And leave me broken inside
Where I now only have lost pride
When it comes down to the root of it

Just wanting to run away and hide
Wishing I hadn't been so gullible
Wishing I had never apologised
Wishing I had never changed myself
Wishing I had been my own boss

But I had been young and foolish
I had never believed myself gullible
I had never looked to my soul within
To learn to understand myself
And forgive myself for my mistakes

My personal power down the toilet
My beneficial boundaries and strengths
Suffocated like being dressed in several
Unnecessary winter jumpers by the devil
As if I can never find a solution

But there is an easy solution:
Learning to love myself
Learning compassion and grace
Feeling gratitude for what I do have
And painting canvases like rainbows

For I see vast imagination and hope
Looking at the sky when the rainbow appears
Showing angels watching over us
Like a driver safety navigating the road
As excited passengers board the bus.