Creatures Of The Night Comments
Creatures of the Night
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iron grates over the street drains
roofs for the poor
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Poignant write with a view to various segments of society today. I appreciate your penning to the poor the 'creatures of the night' cutely. May God bless them. I want to quote some lines here... . slipping from darkness to darkness across the parking lots with their shopping carts and their shoppers with their corporate logos and loading docks automatic doors sliding open checkout is the wish tree for manna from heaven but not for the lost ones coming out from under the streets This is my revisiting to this poem. Thanks for sharing this touching one.
I am overwhelmed by the favorable comments about this poem. I was trying a different style with it, an abrupt, slice of life type of snapshots, and gritty exposure of their day in day out life. It pleases me so much to hear that you've returned for a second reading of it. Thank you for your encouragement.
Poverty and homelessness was never something I saw much of during my formative years yet today it has currently become more of an issue. Now I often see people living in their cars, sleeping in doorways on the street or large families living in a garage due to, poverty and unemployment, mental health issues, emotional trauma and addictions. Your poem draws attention to the stark harsh reality of these unfortunate people out there in the cold while many of us can enjoy entering a warm supermarket and buy delicious food to enjoy in our beautiful homes.
I was so shocked- stunned- horrified when I saw homeless people lying on the sidewalks in Los Angeles on the way to the bus station... people just walked by them... stepped over them... and I wondered how such a thing could be... I was young then but I must admit- I still wonder how such a thing could be.
Powerfully expressed narrative on the divisions in our society. The people underground living lives of maximum desperation must conquer their despair as well as their poverty. When will they revolt against the injustice, or are they born to pacifism?
Perhaps they beat their head against the indifference in society to the point that all they have left is lassitude... or perhaps a hunger that doesn't fuel revolution or even sit-ins... or perhaps they wound up in the position they are in because, as you suggest [purely as a hypothesis ] they are just born to pacifism, to not struggle against odds, any kind of odds. Or all of the above... but even if they have run out of energy, couldn't we supply a little of that for them, just enough that they can see a light at the end of their tunnel? The poor have been with us always... I hope that doesn't mean their situation is hopeless. Thank you, Daniel, for your intelligent comments- I always look forward to what you have to say... always!
Haunting images Susan and a gripping account of the cold bleak starkness of these poor creatures lives. Words like shying, darting, slipping, really emphasise the point. How dare we call ourselves civilised when some poor unfortunate lies without shelter on our streets. Every homeless person is some mother's child. Excellent thought-provoking poem full marks.I live in the wilderness and rarely visit the city but am always shocked by the conditions of the homeless when I do. This is a story that needs to be told. Thank you Susan.
Norah, I appreciate the depth of your comment on this poem. I did try to give my verbs color and it helps me to hear that I succeeded in that. I shall never forget the first time I saw L.A- -I was looking out a Greyhound bus window on the way to their station and saw homeless people sleeping on the sidewalks. I have never forgotten it nor the shock of seeing this. Unfortunately, it does not seem to have improved any in the years since though our church and others send blankets and clothes, food and money. There are a few cities that vare building free tiny houses for homeless vets and other homeless people- -that sounds like a start
hi, susan! shortly after beginning this poem i thought of the raccoons i've seen early mornings in summer before the sun rises over over the mountains. apparently they live under the drains on street corners here and use the connections between them for transit. i once saw a family, two adults and a little one, going down one as i made my way to a nearby park for a walk. if i read you correctly, this is an allegory, yes? i'm guessing so because i've used this strategy myself- see skeleton dog for a serious one, and double meaning for a lighter one- and i've got a bunch of poems on cats meant to make people think of humans- i was early introduced to fables. you've created a vivid picture in this poem. thanks for a good read. glen
oh, dear, actually these shadows are human beings, Glen! The word creatures was supposed to make the reader unhappy over calling the poor people among us creatures... but that is the way many people treat the poor. But I am all for the freedom of readers to call it the way they see it!
This disparity is so sickening! At one place where people splurge in riches, at another dark corner, people wallow in filth and dirt! They are not even sanctioned the dignity of humans but looked upon as 'creatures'. No manna is dropped for them! Sometimes we tend to question even the divine scheme! A great write from you Susan.... sensitive to others' suffering!
It brings to my mind the disparity brazen shown the world in our national capital, Washington D.C. The city has areas of extreme poverty, gangs terrorizing the streets, a high crime rate- -the list goes on. I would think that the powers that be would want to present a Garden of Eden like city instead- -then I think again and am glad that they don't show a false face to the world. It would be unfair that one city gets the forward thinking programs while others don't. I used to wonder why God allows poverty and suffering but now I realize it is the price we pay for the freedom of choice- -we choose to create the situation and we choose to ignore it so mankind pays for it. Fortunately, we have people in every town and city who work hard to get food and blankets out there to those who need it. We have groups that are constructing small houses for the poor and the homeless Veterans. We need more of these compassionate people everywhere. Thank you for mentioning my use of the word creatures- -it was chosen because it does strip, as you call it, the dignity of humanity from the poor. Thank you for your in depth response, Valsa
I love the way you have written this brilliant write Susan with amazing imagery that paints reality starkly with inspired lines that capture the comparison of living compared to just existing!
Thank you, Hazel, for reading and commenting. I'm trying out a new style and I really needed the input of readers on this one! I liked to see you use the word starkly in connection with this piece- -it is exactly the tone I was trying for. Thank you for delving into this and sharing your thoughts on it.
Hi Susan, Haunting. Very disturbing images! Quite factual.Terribly forthright. As Mr lemon has pointed out, a Dickensian compassion to the fellow beings. I am reminded of Oliver Twist and David Copperfield, which I read as child. Susan, your poem has left a drop of tears in my eyes. And As Keats wrote (on a different context) , My Heart Aches! So I have to stop here. Have to revisit! A ten is my initial deposit!
Oh! Thank you for such kind words! ! ! You have always encouraged me onward and upward even when a poem faltered. Revisit as much as you like- -you are always welcome at PH members' poetic doors! ! I just wish we could give readers' comments a 10! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
slipping from darkness to darkness pooled in shopping centers slipping from darkness to darkness across the parking lots with their shopping carts and their shoppers with their corporate logos and loading docks automatic doors sliding open checkout is the wish tree for manna from heaven but not for the lost ones coming out from under the streets - - - - - - - - -A brilliant work as with most of your poems, captivates me.I like the way you use the image of night creatures slipping from darkness to darkness to describe the poor people having no roofs over their their head living on footpaths right beside super rich people who have plenty to spend in shopping malls from center to center..A thought provoking poem, a question before administrators and civilized society how to bridge this big gap between rich and poor.
How sad it is to reflect that no matter what country the PH members come from we each know the that the poor are out there, scavenging in the night where others might drop their leavings... it is an image that makes us all shudder... especially kind and gentle souls like yours, Bharati. If only our governments were peopled by human beings like you- -the problem would cease. Thank you for reading and writing such supportive remarks, my friend.
civilization and modern era. or the Gods on earths and magicians and slaves... your work is outstanding, as if it is a mirror which is not showing my image but shadow. hopes...
Thank you for reading and commenting- -I like your mirror reference- it is an image that makes me think about the structure of this poem.... you gave me food for thought. Thank you!
Poverty.... Diction of this poem is metaphorical to the 18 wheelers..... I fail to penetrate properly with the first reading..... I shall try......
I thought it might me a little difficult to read so I edited it with the idea of giving transitions from image to image... but it might be one of those poems that with the best will on earth just isn't going to resonate with some readers. There are comments below that might help you... Thank you for reading and giving it a try!
What Awesome Imagery! ! ! Susan, every single line sent my mind to that image. And it stayed there for a little while. With them. On some level, communicating with them. Reaching out to them. Reassuring them. Empathizing with them. Your special gift gave me the vehicle to do that. For this, I am truly grateful.
Richard, thank you for coming and reading my poem and commenting on it. WoW! Your words are the best of music for a writer's ear! If our poems don't snuggle down in the reader's heart and soul, what good are they? Thank you, thank, thank you for letting me know this poem touched you, communicated with you, reached out to you. And for communicating that to me, Richard, I am truly grateful.
Remarkable poem. Full of movement and sharp images as the dispossessed flitter like ghosts through (to them) an unreal world with a monstrous presence. Another stunner from Superb Sue!
Another terrific comment from PoemHunter's Tall Talented Tom! ! ! ! Talk about images- I like your dispossessed flitter. Thank you, dear friend
This is brilliant Susan....imagism. There is so much activity, so much kinetic energy, depicted in the first 4-5 lines that so many clear images come to life, and yet it is difficult to form one clear image, or rather scenario. And I think that was the intent....the idea of describing the homeless as an ever moving, ever migrating entity....How often do we actually notice the coming and going and constant wandering of the dispossessed? A great poem, Susan.10, no question...
I imagine we all have the static image of the poor and the homeless asleep on the sidewalk or in a cardboard box sheltering from the rain or the cold. But the night images of these people seeking food- caught in the merest flashes of headlights and taillights or skirting the pools of light cast by the street lights... that was what I tried to capture and I can always count on you to grasp the intent! A great comment, Mj, I give YOU a 10! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Visually brillant, I love how you discrib the eighteen wheeler, as we don't have them over here, or if we do there is no way as many as you have over there. Reading this one, sucks you right into it, then bham hit with guilt for the lost ones. very nicely done. Annette.
Thank you, Annette. I thought your country had a big population of those huge highway hogging 18 wheelers- -the things I learn from my PH friends in far off places! ! Thank you for the comment on the visuals- I had to work on those more than they look! Thank you for the encouragement!
Wow, very amazingly drafted this poem where poverty is presented that provokes thought. Coming out from under the streets scribbles mind. Imagery of poor's life is well reflected in this poem....10
Thank you very much for coming and reading this poem of mine and commenting so generously on it. And thank you for the 10. I hope you return and read some others- it has been a while
Oh, Wow So Wonderfully Said And Done! ! ! ! ! Sadly SoTrue! ! ! ! ! So Many Lost Ones! ! ! ! ! A Very Deep Write From The Heart! ! ! ! ! Excellent Poem! ! ! ! ! May God Be With All! ! ! ! ! Thank You! ! ! ! ! So Much For Sharing This! ! ! ! ! Many Many 10S! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! +++++++++
I agree, sweet Rebecca- -may God be with all of us and especially with all our lost ones out there, homeless, hungry, and sick. Let's all drop some money into a needy hand today.
When a poem calls for justice And makes us realize, How very lucky our life is, That poet deserves a Prize. Thinking of others, suits you I know it is your style, You'd like to make everyone happy Even, just for a little while. Thank you, Susan for this very well painted portrait of these poor, Creatures of the Night.
Sandra, your comment/poems are captivating! If I tried to do that, it would take me at least 2 weeks to put together something a tenth as good! ! ! I admire that quick rhyming talent of yours and the supportive lines you come up with! Thank you, dear friend.
It is ALWAYS such a pleasure To write and hear from you, You and your poems are a treasure, For us all a Golden Hue.
Wow! , , , , ! ! ! ! This is by far my most favorite poem of yours, unreal! ! ! The imagery and setting is Who poetic perfection....you know, you wrote this in a way that all readers can see themselves as creatures of the night, for all of us feel lost at times....and my friend....the manna from heaven is this awesome poem upon which many will partake!
What an awesome comment, Bill! ! ! You have me walking on poetic clouds! ! ! You have no idea how wonderful it feels when you call this a favorite poem of yours- a high accolade from a very respected poet... WoW! ! ! thank you, thank you, thank you! And to say that the manna from heaven is this awesome poem - -well I best go get some ice and apply it to my swelling head! Bless you, Bill, for always encouraging us writers!
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7/27/2025 9:51:21 PM # 1.0.0
You may not know but this has been on my favorites list for a long time, your poetry is so good, your comments on mine and others poetry are better than the poems we post.... what a credit you are to poetry Susan, and to poemhunter, I for one thank you! ! !
It is my belief that the highest compliment that can be given on PH is to put a poem on our fav list so that we will read the poem again and again. Thank you for enjoying my comments on your poetry- you have such unique topics expressed in unique ways that you are a steady source of good reads to profit from! !
I am sorry it takes me so long to respond to everyone's comments- -but sometimes my connection to PH is so poor that the site won't stay on a poem but 2 seconds before it flips to another poem, and it often takes me 20 minutes to a half-hour to get my response to post or to get a comment posted on your poetry. I am getting irritated at PH but I am still vastly interested in reading the poetry of others.