Conscious Comments

Your poem is animated by surprises. And it plays creatively with multiple tones in my reading of it. Especially in the last two lines: I laughed the first time I read them, because your response to the other person elucidating the obvious was perfectly timed. But the second time I read them, I felt sobered by your realization how desperate your situation is - hunger pangs and no food. The surprises in lines 4 & 5 occur in the second half of each one. I FEEL TREMENDOUS PAIN, AND NOTHING AT ALL. Either the speaker has conquered her pain (which is good) or she's become numb (which is dangerous) . This could have been a one-dimensional poem (that is, Woe is Me) but instead we are aware of a plucky individual who is larger than her circumstances.