its so hard to jump back into the game
when shes still the main topic on your brain
you think about her constantly every single day
a whirlpool of emotions wondering why she didn't stay
...
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Amazingly written, very deep and I know how you felt when writing this. Great job! Keep writing, you have talent! Thank you for sharing =)
A bit of suffocation and a bit if realism, I like your style. Keep writing, dear.
Wow! what an amazingly heartfelt poem that has so much feeling and sorrow in it. It has wonderful balance and rhythm that you dont see much of and it truly is such a great poem. Great job, keep up the great writing skills. ~JRose~
i know this.. and i feel you. it dose get good. all is for good.. look for your inside when your alone; its what alone is for.
you have the fundamentals down, I think you need to up the complexity of the ryhmes. Don't based what your heart tells you to write on worrying about how to rhyme the next line. I personally would dropp the slang, it has no place in serious poetry. Overall I nice word choice throughout and your emotions are raw and that's certainly a great start! Keep writing and each piece gets better. It's all about the experience!