'Confessions' Poem by Essambeh Ebai Essambeh

I now understand why you dropped your pen years ago,
At times this path seems like a maze and it's hard to tell the next path you might follow.
At one moment you're happy and the next moment you're sad,
Written so many words for the world to hear me, but still it feels all alone 'cause no matter how you shout it seems like no one has your back.
The void only grows bigger, and you're left solely with just a pen and a paper,
Even the muse no longer feels safe, some times I'd wished God understood better.
How hard we try just hoping one more line can really reach the ends of the world,
But looks like no matter how hard we try, we just keep fooling ourselves.
That just like the others who've gone before us you might only get to see rose flowers when you're finally gone,
What's the point of life, if you can't receive one now, on earth where you now belong?
Why do those lovely words and glory only come when you're in the afterlife,
Some times I ask my self too, does God really see the pains we face in this sham of a reality we still call life?
You try hard to succeed but you're left with nothing but pain,
At times I do not blame those who join the other side, 'cause they're so many untold reasons we don't see that lies behind the pain.
The solitude caused by your kin, and friends are just, even part of the lot,
Does God really see the labor, how long shall we keep praying till he starts a song?
That longed miracle we've waited for so many years,
Will many have to die, before you show up and prove you're still here?
Some say try harder and I know many who've really tried,
But the harder they did, they only ended up finally dying.
What's the point to live only to receive glory in another world?
Why can't we have a taste of the glory here, what's actually the reason for the creation of this world?
The glory I speak of isn't one that should be given on a golden platter,
I know many who worked hard, yet didn't even make a penny from their sweat, now the question comes up 'does labor still matter? '
if it does, why do you let many people still suffer?
What happened to the faith we professed, couldn't you back up your words even if 'twas just for an hour.
I might sound like one of the forsaken but I think it's time to understand why,
Why will many have to suffer for long before they can make it and finally put on a smile?
When age seems faint and they're not very far from home,
What happened to their earlier years, didn't they deserve a place here to call home?
I'm talking of dreams, I'm talking about the pursuit of their goals,
Did you have to make life this hard, for many to try and die in the process with many not reaching their goal?
What's the point to keep trying if you can't lend a helping hand,
Where's the God we once knew, can't you show up and save our land,
Our bedrock of dreams, our symbol of hope,
Why do you always take long to act, why do you always give us hope?
Only to leave us to die, only to leave us to perish,
Aren't you supposed to answer when we call, or have our requests become too selfish?
For at times certain things don't make sense and I usually wonder why,
I've sought you many times to understand, but still you can't really explain why.
And now like my fellow bard, I realize all our efforts seem to be nothing but a dream within a dream,
I might join you on a better course soonest, hopefully I can dream a better dream.