Come To Me Where It All Ends Comments

Wow! Great poetry, Ruchi. You may like to read my poem, Love And Iust. Thank you.

(cont.) i like your repetition of your thoughts in the last few lines. ok, the English is good, but i think could be (and will be, i'm sure) much better. with this thought in mind, i send 'yet another' of yours to MyPoemList. bri :) p.s. try to write on a different subject IF you WANT a challenge! ! ! leaves, apples, diamonds, cars, trucks! ! ! anything but HIM! !

(cont.) **** cause is a noun or verb. because is a conjunction (though i had to look up what is was called) : be·cause /bēˈkəz/ conjunction conjunction: because for the reason that; since. (cont.)

(cont.) I do not intend to change your life but I will embrace the glorious mess you are. No complaints, no demands cause I love all of you with your flaws and your cons. .........lovely lines, BUT: are you 'crazy', girl? ? i guess lovesick might describe you. i would use because or 'cause, not cause.**** (cont.)

(cont.) you fed up. i'd use you are fed up. Then look around to the corner where you never seen before....Then look around the corner to where you have never seen before sounds better (to me) . :) or to what you have never seen before i wonder what when everything ends means. hmm? ..lets meet in dark... use let's; oops! :) hey, weren't you trying to move on, leaving this guys memory behind? ? ! (cont.)

(cont.) When you tired...add are in front of 'tired' is present tense of verb. goes wrong, use go wrong. leaves whom...whom may be correct, but i (and a lot of others) will say who. lose believe use the noun believe. i think believe is always a verb. life get, use gets. blue or blues? i think either is ok. feel blown sounds 'funny/strange' to me, but it's ok with me; i've heard of blown down and blown over (i think) . (cont.)

(cont.) OOPS! I LEFT OUT A WORD [in a previous comment]...or PH stole it! ! : [the word(s) sure or sure of should be after immediately]! (see below) i suggest lie, not lay in the grass in this case. those two verbs 'trip up' a lot of writers; i am not always immediately which one i should use (the tense of the verb, i mean) . (cont.)

(cont.) lets meet in dark to find insight.....i CAN think of 'other' things a boy and girl could find (together) in the dark! ! Careful what you wish for! ! ! i suggest lie, not lay in the grass in this case. those two verbs 'trip up' a lot of writers; i am not always immediately which one i should use (the tense of the verb, i mean) . (oont.) i have to return another day! bri :)

ok, i'm part way through the poem. i'll send 'suggestions' later probably. Your English is a tiny bit shaky. but i'll say NOW: not dessert here; i think you must mean desert, though i'm not sure what, besides blowing sand would be dense in a desert. a 'dense dessert' example is cheesecake. but desert, in one usage, IS pronounced like dessert. it CAN be confusing! ! (cont.) ?

Ruchi, Hazel is such a teaser! ! ! She really meant to say: This poem is one of the worst, most hilarious poems i've ever read! ! ! where there is no hope, you may as well order your funeral pyre to be built. OK! ! ! i admit it. i have not read the poem yet. i may not have time now to comment on it tonight. i'll be back; remind me. bri ;)

Mesmerising lines that draw blood from the wounds of our hearts, as the very worst times is when love will embrace our hearts gloriously, as in the darkness we find the light! I love this deep and enlightening write.....superb!