I see you,
Coming toward the car,
-My stomach flops.
...
Read full text
I liked this - I would capitalize all the 'I's that refer to you. I would put a space after the dashes, but that's fairly subjective. Lastly, you need an apostrophe toward the end, I think in the word 'Ive'. Good one. Jeff
This is very good and the single lines are very effective - well done
The word that needs the apostrophe is 'Im'.