Choose Your Own Metaphor Comments

Alrighty,7th line reworked as well as new line 12; flows a little better, paints more of a picture. Your own picture of course.

i will try to rework it especially if anyone else has suggestions

this one is nearly there. try losing or reworking line 7 because it is that one whereby the piece stumbles. It is, otherwise, a fabulous inversion, 'It's in us you can trust.' I'd like to see this one re-posted.