Monday, October 31, 2005

Celestial Bodies Comments

Rating: 3.5

The earth each day travels her weary round,
Partly in sunlight, partly in darkness hid;
Around the sun she goes without a sound,
And nothing her trajectory can forbid:
...
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David Mitchell
COMMENTS
Ernestine Northover 06 November 2005

Hi David, this is a lovely poem. Just a mention. second line second stanza, I would have put 'can' instead of 'could', I read it in the present tense. Last line second stanza, I'm turning it around a bit, 'Because he makes the life that here may be' to me it flows a little better, but of course it's your poem and you wrote it. For what it's worth, this is just my thoughts. Sincerely Ernestine

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David Mitchell

David Mitchell

Colchester
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