Celestial Bodies Comments

Hi David, this is a lovely poem. Just a mention. second line second stanza, I would have put 'can' instead of 'could', I read it in the present tense. Last line second stanza, I'm turning it around a bit, 'Because he makes the life that here may be' to me it flows a little better, but of course it's your poem and you wrote it. For what it's worth, this is just my thoughts. Sincerely Ernestine