In the gravel carpark are seven cars without colour
One is grey, two is dark grey, three is light grey, one is fawn grey
Only in black, and then dark blue- black
But what is this?
...
Read full text
Not too sure about this one. The third line is a bit long compared to the others. If you shortened it by taking out the numbers perhaps just saying grey, dark grey, light grey and fawn grey it would give it a bit more impact.
hi Bill, I was trying to make it lopsided to cause unease/confusion and then resolution. thanks for the comments.
A good start with a nice poem, Michael Mc. You may like to read my poem, Love And Iust. Thank you.
hello again Bill, I was trying to make it lopsided to create unease/confusion and then, resolution. Thanks for your comments