By Your Side Comments

good poem. keep up the work :) -Amber

This is a very emotional poem. I like the rhyme scheme, it's quite effective!

so beautiful and touching i feel like dis now love it

The thought structure jumps around a lot, giving a feel of disjointed emotion/inability to fully express depth of said emotions. I don't know if this was the intended purpose, but it works well for this poem.

Interesting Beatnik style! I assume you mean 'Was too unbearable' in the last line?