By My Side Comments

i liked it alot! ! ^-^ blahaha lol to james' comment 'I did find it interesting that he complained about your spelling and gramatical errors when his post was full of them.'

Wow, I know it really sucks to feel like that. Sorry about your loss. Good poem though.

p.s. i give you a ten for you have gained a friend.

write from your heart, that's all that i have to say for your poetry is going to go a long, long way. GOD BLESS and put your mind to the test.

Well Steph I did enjoy it. ALthough Mr. Ryan (below) is correct you should check your spelling before posting (although I am rather quilty of it myself) I did find it interesting that he complained about your spelling and gramatical errors when his post was full of them. One point I would like to make read, read, read old poetry, new poetry good poetry and bad poetry. You need to understand the rules and structure of poems so you can bend and break them to fit your voice. Don't let people that don't understand or don't like what you write. Write to please yourself and if you do others will find it pleaseing. Ok I think I prattled on long enough JPM

Steffy, you are smart in endeavoring into the Art-Science of Literature at an early age.I wish i had done the same. You have commendable acumen for fluxive metreic structure. That said, you need to be far more meticulous in your proof-reading, in particular, spelling & in ther use of ordinary words/parlance that comeas across as cliche-ish, as opposed to inventive & eye-capturing.You need to explore, break-away & have some fun with expression.You need to expand your dictional cpacity.You can do this.as we all did, by reading & reading & reading our Contemporary Poets(not the olde-tyme quillers) Read Sarah Teasdale, Sylvia Plath, T.S. Elliot & Dylan Thomas, for starters. You have talent & potential, Steffyy, however, in order to get to the next level(s) ...you need to buy into the deep-rooted digesting od Poetics, as only then, you will expose yourself to the myriad styles & tecniques that will enable you to consistently improve as a Poet. Good Luck, young lady! F j R

Great Heart felt poem loved it and if u ever need an ear just let me know and i'll give u my number so we can talk

A good start. Give us some more. You might change the last line to: I keep asking why I'm all alone.

very nice! ! its deserves a 10

haha a bit funny and sweet... 10s

Poetry from the Heart...

S, if you actually want to write a good poem, you ned to read good poetry. It's a simple fact; if nothing good's going in, nothing good can come out. Poetry is a craft as much as your feelings drooled across the page in rhyme. JC

love a powerful word...a tear and fear effect...you will make or take you...you must decide...you are still young...love...loving...cry...and cry some more...but learn..sweet little one...learn...very good write young person...

Did you mean: ' the pain is overwhelming'? That was a good try, keep it up!