This is verrrrrry, veeerry nice. Lovely job, Lovely!
The only line slightly offbeat is:
'I sit never quite comfortable'
A suggestion - perhaps you could toy with not capitolizing certain letters in the beginning of the line?
'Then I must go fly away, like
A butterfly with a broken watch out of date, '
Such as 'A' before 'butterfly.'
It could be advantageous to the flow.: ]
Excellent repetition. I love how you tie the butterfly into the individual and comapre the two: broken watch, broken wing.
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This is verrrrrry, veeerry nice. Lovely job, Lovely! The only line slightly offbeat is: 'I sit never quite comfortable' A suggestion - perhaps you could toy with not capitolizing certain letters in the beginning of the line? 'Then I must go fly away, like A butterfly with a broken watch out of date, ' Such as 'A' before 'butterfly.' It could be advantageous to the flow.: ] Excellent repetition. I love how you tie the butterfly into the individual and comapre the two: broken watch, broken wing.