Monday, April 13, 2009

Butterfly! Comments

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Everyday I sit,
Everyday I wait,
For the butterfly to fly
With a broken watch out of date.
...
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Brittanie Thornton
COMMENTS
Catina Crum 16 April 2009

This is verrrrrry, veeerry nice. Lovely job, Lovely! The only line slightly offbeat is: 'I sit never quite comfortable' A suggestion - perhaps you could toy with not capitolizing certain letters in the beginning of the line? 'Then I must go fly away, like A butterfly with a broken watch out of date, ' Such as 'A' before 'butterfly.' It could be advantageous to the flow.: ] Excellent repetition. I love how you tie the butterfly into the individual and comapre the two: broken watch, broken wing.

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