I'm breaking down..
I'm giving up.
I'll break away from this someday.
This pain will stop,
...
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you definitely have a great understanding of the loss, and the way you can describe it in such words it commendable. i'm definitely envious, good job
dang...im sorry you had to come to understand what that pain is. its not fair. youve described it all beautifully though. very touching. good job