Bloody Dreams Comments

I do agree with Frank, Collen. Everything here is good, but the longer lines need to bifurcated. They are way to long. I also agree with Frank and Shannon that this is a very good piece, and even gives advice to those that self harm. This poem could be published by any magazine that would be able to send this message to others. Self harming is not a way to relax, and all it takes is one time to cut too deep. Thank you for sharing, Colleen. With love 'n' hugs, Barbara 'If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be.'

wow this poem is really good i love it. shannon

A SOLID STORYLINE, COLLEEN...INTUIGING TITLE....YOU HAVE A POTPOURI OF GOOD IDEAS, HERE...THEY NEED SOME CULTIVATING, HOWEVER THE LANGUAGE IS GOOD...STRUCTURE NEEDS WORK....THE WORK IS TAKING ON ATWO-FACED LOOK, BETWEEN POEM & PROSE....FREE-STYLE IS FINE, BUT IT NEEDS TO FLOW SO THAT THE READER CAN DIGEST THE FULL VALUE OF YOUR WORK & SO THEY CAN READ THE WORK THE SAME WAY YOU WOULD RECITE IT...IT SOUNDS LIKE I AM BEING OVER CRITICAL, HOWEVER, I SEE CREDIBLE VALUE & POTENTIAL IN YOUR ABILITY TO CREATE & INNOVATE....IF I DIDN'T, I WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT A COMMENT AT ALL, , , KEEP YOUR PEN PUMPING, COLLEEN & GOOD LUCK... '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''FJR