Thursday, February 16, 2006

Biting The Bullet Comments

Rating: 5.0

As we walk slowly down the dark streets laughing,
I start thinking of how good a friend she is.
I always enjoy every minuet I spend with her.
Every minuet I am not with her,
...
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Leland Pechacek
COMMENTS

Break up your lines more, Leland...and this would be more effective as a poem. Read it out loud...and see where you could break it up...i.e, As we walk slowly down the streets laughing I start thinking of how good a friend she is I always enjoy every minute I spend with her When I am not with her, I think of her and her smile..... see what I mean? Otherwise....great start!

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Leland Pechacek

Leland Pechacek

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