Billions Comments

Love the rhythm. Nicely written.

Your poem takes a world view on the problem of inequality and poverty, taking into account some of the worst of what we as a society are doing to each other and to our world. What I like in this poem is your 'play' on important words: Short, Cold, Pure, Spoils, Absolution, god-given. You use captialization to enhance meaning, either maximizing or minimizing each word. The author's notes are also helpful where you reference Ted Koppel's book. My only suggestion would be to consider a few changes in wording to balance some of your lines and to keep a discernible pattern in rhyming. I would also suggest you consider a rhyming couplet to close the poem with a bang....maybe using the word billions at the end instead of the beginning. This poem makes you take a step back and think beyond yourself, to consider how our collective existence is destroying us, our world.