Bella And Edward: Predator And Prey Comments

This is a sensitive narrative of feelings many young lovers experience in the beginning of their romantic adventure. It is well thought out, but it lacks the refinement that only time will help you develop through exposure to technicl applications of simile, metaphors and general figurative language elements. You are young and you are well on the way to being able to write poetically on a far more impressive level. Keep writing more and more because that is the experience that will bring out the best of you that is yet to come.

Wow, what a contest you've described. I'm entranced; that one chapter has ended and I sp want to read the next one. (smile)