Monday, July 31, 2006
Bed Comments
Rating: ★0.0
This bed
in the finished morning,
white masses
returned to rest,
...
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8/1/2025 8:48:48 AM # 1.0.0
Oliver....this flows very well, and the imagery is fine, though I had a problem with 'mist/mashed up' which doesn't seem to be the appropriate verb. Also, 'Everything you shut in when you entered the bed have left again, ' should use 'has' instead of 'have.' I like your poems. They remind me of another poet who once posted here. Take care, John