Beauty (A Lump Of Pain) Poem by Angela Bontle Ditumiso

Before you pass judgment
First seek for clarity
Acquaint yourself with the reason
Behind my ceaseless lament
Until then deprive the wind of your persuasion

If you knew my story you'd understand my rancor
I lost everything even lost my anchor
Benighted, Enfeebled, Unexcitable, Traumatized Younker
That's how my soul used to define me, Beauty

I used to grope for a spark light in lightlessness
I was swallowed by a beast I used to foster
A humongous monster called the dark (k) night
He stole my childhood and defiled my smile

That's why my soul was dark as night
The words I spoke where devoid of light
And beyond my gates dwelled no hope

Death never dared to approach me because I was a grave
I would've swallowed it before it did me
I was a black hole, uncontended darkness
Whatever goodness that came my way I squashed
I was dead inside, is that beauty?