Sunday, May 15, 2005

Beach Lovers Comments

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under a dying sun along
the beach, the winds' breath
opens the sand and I turn to
you and I reach - I reach for
...
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Brian Wood
COMMENTS
Raynette Eitel 22 May 2005

This is nice (even musical) but I would leave out the last line. (We get it already) I might say 'We join together like the sand and sea...or some simile that is nautical. This poem has a lovely feel about it. Don't ruin it with the obvious.

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Brian Wood

Brian Wood

Parry Sound, Ontario Canada
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