Bat Corpse Comments

I like the way you describe the bat before its demise. Your repetition of 'only bat corpse remains' predominates and leaves the image lingering. I never like running over or killing any animal. We have squirrels here who dart across the streets and never make it alive. Then there are some opposums too. I will probably think of your poem the next time I witness a new roadkill.

The others have said it well. If I were going to amend the last line at all, I would leave out 'for' altogether. But its a minor point. Fine work, I like your empathy with the animal world. The poem reminds me of once when I came across the dessicated body of a bird that had been run over by a car.

Beautifully observed, beautifully described, with real sympathy for the animal that has died. Michael's suggested amendment makes the ending more optimistic, but is this what you were looking for? I think your ending is just right.

Some admirable literary devices at play - 'Like a carnivorous kite' is a wonderful simile. You also manage to paint a swathe of heart-felt emotion - 'never to squeak and huddle' - magnificent. S :)

This is a beautiful poem. But, if my officiousness may be forgiven, may I suggest changing the last line to: 'Only bat corpse remains. But the spirit has flown...'