stare at the unchanging rainbows and majestic arcade
far-sweeping to some victorious minaret made
of swollen longing, burst and absorb red wine
where silvery gifts lie, in dune and shine
...
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embroidering of hearts they did with daffodils and opals Potala Palace in holidays, and meditative festivals drawing no dividend from Wedding's tomorrow without her prejudices and sorrow wonderful poem, lovely rhymes......10++++++++++
this is a different structure of composition you had done compared to others, and you did it very well....lovely and nice to read with its flow....great job....10
'stare at the unchanging rainbows and majestic arcade / far-sweeping to some victorious minaret made / of swollen longing, burst and absorb red wine / where silvery gifts lie, in dune and shine' lovely lines.
The whole structure of this piece is OK, however the second stanza where the words mirage and trust doesn't rhyme. If you think these words sound the same, I would say it's weak and forced. Ballad means a song, a soft romantic melody, well the lines at least sounds music to me. Cheers!
The whole structure of this piece is OK, however the second stanza where the words mirage and trust doesn't rhyme. If you think these words sound the same, I would say it's weak and forced. Ballad means a song, a soft romantic melody, well the lines at least sounds music to me. Cheers!
The whole structure of this piece is OK, however the second stanza where the words mirage and trust doesn't rhyme. If you think these words sound the same, I would say it's weak and forced. Ballad means a song, a soft romantic melody, well the lines at least sounds music to me. Cheers!
I like the rhyme and i give you 10 for your great work. I will be glad to know your opinion on my poem'Night'. Merna.
embroidering of hearts they did with daffodils and opals Potala Palace in holidays, and meditative festivals drawing no dividend from Wedding's tomorrow without her prejudices and sorrow...............astonishing composition dear friend...I am in awe of your poem....loved it! ! !