Bait Of Pity Comments
Earthworm, Oh earthworm!
Poor earthworm crawling on the concrete
You are burned by sunrays and can't go back
You came up when dew was in the grass
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So, you are 'dangling' empathy, not 'sympathy', .........BUT what if the worm is allergic to grass, loves the sunrays and its orthopedist told it that being on hard surfaces is good for the worm's back? ? ?
Below, in Sept.2017, you sent me 'I have changed the second line to: POOR CREATURE CRAWLING ON THE PAVEMENT.' So, you must have changed it back to cement. ;))))))))))))))
If a worm 'crawls' on cement, it MIGHT leave a trail when the cement hardens to concrete, but I think it'd have to be a very HEAVY worm.
My comment could not be posted because it crossed word limit.While expressing a thought it is not always possible to keep a watch on word limit.Here there is no scope for edits.Please add some feature for edits.
Thank you, Geeta! How fortuitous that you commented on my earthworm poem only a day after I commented on your firefly poem (titled INTERESTING INSECTS 4) ! / My poem's title does not mention the word " earthworm, " yet you intuitively found it. Both of us wrote poems celebrating the lives of humble creatures. This shows some kind of affinity.
This is a brilliant poem on Earthworm. I have watched them while tending to plants. Embedded in the earth's soil, they struggle and wriggle and try their best to co- exist in the surroundings. Dear Poet, you have through this poem given a admirable status and an individuality to an insect, Amazing Poem.......10
Many of your poems attract me to re-read.It is one of them.There is so much sympathy for a small creature like earthworm.We all go through highs and lows.At some point all need sympathy and comforting words.I like the poems which show empathy to distressed.Thanks for this wonderful poem.
Very snazzy style! This poem, regardless of it’s powerful content, is a delight to read... i'm write as well so please check my site to :)
A brilliant and crative fun read poem. It was a delight to read. Thanks for sharing
What a sensitive, thoughtful poem! Earthworms, in their quiet and invisible way, are the unseen heroes of the planet, apparently. Your last line pitches straight to the heart and suggests that your earthworm is an analogy for yourself and perhaps millions of individuals who are truly valuable, but unrecognized and suffering in some way. Talking about shared themes, this one made me think of my poem, “Walnut Tree.”
A true poet will pick up an earthworm and write a poem. To observe nature is the calling of a poet. To express its essence is a need. A wonderful poem. I, too, have picked up earthworms to try and save them. I am deeply touched by your poem.
EarthwormI feel sorry for you I bend over to pick you up You still have a little moisture Like lover's lips in a daydream it's wondering me great 10+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Poor creature crawling on the pavement You are burned by sunrays and can't go back touching poem.
Your poem brings out love for helping others. The poem is intriguing. The abode of the earthworm changes or becomes the grass. Will the earthworm survive with this change? Does putting it here better it's life. When we help others do we create real change? I could not help going into what the symbolism evokes in the rrader. Thanks for sharing this poem.
It would have been good to give the earthworm a new start, but I think by then it was already a goner. Nature did not equip the earthworm for exposure to so much light. I simply wanted to honor the earthworm's intention of crawling to a new spot. I placed it in shade among grass stalks, which was a fitting place to spend its final moments.
A very interesting approach is used to address human attempts to get somewhere in life. The earthworm is each person squirming a way in a certain direction on this earth. Like worms we struggle on this earthIke the worms we are. I liked this poem a lot. Thanks for sharing.10
It is very perceptive, and kind of you to say this, but in my poem the worm only makes one or two turns. Not very nimble. In your poems, the metaphorical worm wriggles in every line.
going into September 2017's showcase (Part A) now. thanks. bri :) p.s. i noticed and read now the response to my previous comment. i never heard of a POEM-EYE. do poems have toes? Do Poems Have Toes? I now know that poems have 'eyes'. Or so Denis says; he's one of our guys... on PH, so I trust he's one who knows, but, Denis, tell me: Do poems have TOES? waiting for an answer! bri :)
Well, in a way they have eyes. The eye of a poem is an intersection of metaphorical threads, and that is where a reader pauses and gathers in the associations. Traditionally Chinese poets used to talk about the EYE of a poem, but I cannot claim to write like they did. // As to the question of TOES, well, in a way poems have toes. That is, they have feet (namely metrical feet) , so they must have toes. Metrical feet really do exist (not metric feet, which would make no sense) . A metrical foot pertains to prosody. It is a stressed syllable plus one or more unstressed syllables that go with it. For instance, a line of iambic pentameter has five feet, hence five beats. Since it has beats, it makes you tap your toes.// But seriously, I think a poem has feet in a more important way. Whenever I read a strong lyrical poem, I can feel the poet's force of character. I can feel that she uses her whole being to write. She doesn't just express emotions, desires, thoughts and pains, she sets them walking. A new kind of living thing goes walking through our mental world, STOMPING THE TERRA. If it stomps, it has feet. If people tell each other about it, and if more and more people read it, it has LEGS, so it probably has toes. Thanks for pointing out the problem with CEMENT in the second line of BAIT OF PITY. I have changed the second line to: POOR CREATURE CRAWLING ON THE PAVEMENT. Thanks for including me in your Showcase, It is good to be here with all of you.
Wao! i like that fact that you brought out the glory of the earthworm a good piece Denis
Dennis I see earthworms in my garden often but never thought of writing a poem on them. You have opened my poetic eyes to see more than I saw before. Thanks for making the mundane meaningful!
Loaded with laudable lessons for living. You have made meaningful the mundane which is one of the marks of a great poet. Well done my friend!
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7/19/2025 9:40:16 AM # 1.0.0
Very passionate writing. Loved the way the earthworm has been addressed in the poem and how the poem has been captioned. Top score