Bad Biscuits Poem by Shaun Cronick

Lurking in the supermarket,
Hidden away in their isle.
Is something so obscene,
These goods are so hostile.

It's all a game of chance,
When trying out something new.
You decide on simply that one,
To tastily compliment your brew.

Your kettle now boiled,
You pour a nice cup of tea.
You sit down, chill, relax,
Unwind and feel-fancy free.

You pick up that new biscuit,
And dip it deep in your tea.
Then put it in your mouth,
Christ! That tastes so shitty.

You quickly spit it out,
What the bloody hell was that!
It tastes so bloody awful,
I would rather eat my hat.

I paid a pretty pretty penny,
For something wildly obscene.
A taste that seems to linger,
I think I'm turning green!

A biscuit tasting of almonds,
Now out-cast at my tea-break.
I'll stick with old reliable,
A large slice of Dundee cake.