Awaited Comments

she follows you, you follow her...you fate is shared...you could as well be her!

Crit4 awaited Awaited Hit on head, (she) sits firmly in place Straight as an arrow, smiling At the soulmate that fixed her in (place) with grace. Stable, patient, waiting Standing at one (spot) as (a) Lady of the night, / She waits(X) to/ Hook. Quiet, as a royal guard on standby, focussed as a soldier aiming at (the) enemy. Determined to see her day Rooted, committed to her abode Coated, determined not to get Rusted, wasted or torn away Constant, in a (variable(sp) world Hard to avoid her gaze, no matter How much I roam, (I) shall come back to her, as a portrait, after/ I am gone. Nikunj nice poem well constructed with the quatrains. I’d make the last stanza a quatrain as well. There is no reason to separate the last words and the flow and read better connected to the intent. I don’t know if you want me to reveal your secret or not. But it is obvious to me, for something to be hooked. Even you portrait when gone. Good opening, The turning might be a tad misleading in the “gaze line”. I love the line committed to her abode. Good closing as well. Great writing. Man have you come a long way, in a couple of months. Your hard work at poetry has definitely paid off. This poem shows a great understanding of poetic metaphor and contextual flow while maintaining both sides of the metaphor. A great conceit or allegory. FANTASTIC! A poet friend RH Peat

:) .. good one... :)

Awaited, much awaited narration on waiting.... 'Stable, patient, waiting Standing at one place as Lady of the night, waiting to Hook.'

Fine poem. Does the hooker hook you? In fantasy surely she does. Well done. Gershon

lovely combination between a simile and a metaphor: ''Hit on head, sits firmly in place Straight as an arrow, smiling At the soulmate that fixed her in, with grace'' lovely poem, thank you for sharing..................10+++

Rooted, committed to her abode Coated, determined not to get Rusted, wasted or torn away Constant, in a varible world poety must express ur soul and ints emotions

i liked the unique personification used her. on the lighter side, are you sure your photograph will hang there?

well written.. this was such a lovely piece.. i enjoyed reading it greatly..10+

This is a lovely poem which also has a mystery to decipher, and i think i have hit the nail on its head. 10/10.

Hard to avoid her gaze, no matter How much I roam, shall come back to her, as a portrait, after I am gone. Spell bounded...loved it for your lady among stars-an only star of your brilliant skies. It must have made you to search your soul. thanks for sharing your heart. Regards, Rehana 20/8/09

wow....meaningful poem! ! ! Unique theme! ! ! 10

relationships grow as habit...

Such an original poem and he eyes did it for me, as did the great images throughout. It brings mystery and intrigue. 10 love Karin

yes, ur explaination makes it different, but it is well written and i enjoyed even the second time i read it, thanks!

Nikunj, what a lovely way you have described, of hanging a picture of someone you love. Has she got Mona Lisa's eyes that follow and watch your every whim. I am glad I was invited to your page. A portrait of love this poem. Thank you. Regards Bob

hmmm i felt wonderful just reading this poem! is it about the will power of the lady who has fixed her gaze on u and no matter what, she believes u will return to her? .

Lots of coating...But what is underneath? Something here, disguised with colorful words. Hmmmmmm. What could it be I wonder? ? ? ? ? :) DC

there....in the middle of everything awaits....waving...saying''have a good trip dear'..

Life's experience is vast, life is short and nobody knows how long it going to lasts, only can tell you, then, it will become past...Great poem my friend, keep it up, you got my 10+, Love and Peace...Romeo