Friday, April 13, 2007

August Night Comments

Rating: 4.8

On an august night, a half-rain
stumbles glass; the child-bride,
in a bruise of love, endures her pain;
her eyes obscenities as she cries.
...
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Stug Jordan
COMMENTS
Amanda Norton 27 April 2007

This poems title got my attention for that is the month of my birthday.... I love it.. it is very descriptive and unfortunatly has a familar ring to it (personally) .. so I can relate... which makes me love it all the more....

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Always Fine 21 April 2007

Brilliant language, excellent poem! IG x

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Sean Godley 18 April 2007

Excellent write, Stug - great use of language and images; both evocative and slightly disturbing. Sean

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Gina Onyemaechi 17 April 2007

'...bruise of love...', '...animal of agony cruelly evicted / from paradise...' '...ante-natal crime...' '...lie to her face, undo her years' - power language. 'Rhymeless' (inconspicuous yet heavy-impact) rhyme as well. A tour de force, no more, no less.

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Scarlett Treat 17 April 2007

Sad poem, depicting a very harsh reality of life...the child bride...bringing forth the child conceived in pain and suffering...

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Original Unknown Girl 16 April 2007

Is this your birth you're depicting here Stug? Sounds primal, though childbirth is, sure she's gotten over it by now though, unless you were a big baby of course! ! LOL! Interesting piece Mr Leo! HG: -) xx

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Stug Jordan

Stug Jordan

Norfolk, UK
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