August Night Comments
On an august night, a half-rain
stumbles glass; the child-bride,
in a bruise of love, endures her pain;
her eyes obscenities as she cries.
...
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Excellent write, Stug - great use of language and images; both evocative and slightly disturbing. Sean
'...bruise of love...', '...animal of agony cruelly evicted / from paradise...' '...ante-natal crime...' '...lie to her face, undo her years' - power language. 'Rhymeless' (inconspicuous yet heavy-impact) rhyme as well. A tour de force, no more, no less.
Sad poem, depicting a very harsh reality of life...the child bride...bringing forth the child conceived in pain and suffering...
Is this your birth you're depicting here Stug? Sounds primal, though childbirth is, sure she's gotten over it by now though, unless you were a big baby of course! ! LOL! Interesting piece Mr Leo! HG: -) xx
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7/23/2025 6:11:25 PM # 1.0.0
This poems title got my attention for that is the month of my birthday.... I love it.. it is very descriptive and unfortunatly has a familar ring to it (personally) .. so I can relate... which makes me love it all the more....