At His Tombstone.... Comments

i asked why he went so early.. he smiled and hugged me tightly and ma, now i know why i and dad came early.... you won't be alone when you come and we'll be happy in this home... These last verses of your great poem touched me very very much. thank you

“its not the same..” ….. maybe your “its” is your shorthand notation for “it’s”? ? or you just make the mistake others make, not using the apostrophe? “when i come, i won't be alone.” is the speaker/daughter? planning to die soon? “anyway, without you, its not the same” ………… is the “you” here, the mom or dad? “his eyes also waters...” …………personally I would say “water”. OH! ! now I see the note your left at the end of the poem; it would have been better at the start of the poem, IF you wanted readers to read your ‘story’/poet’s notes BEFORE reading the poem. it WOULD help the readers to follow/understand the poem, BUT I FOUND that, after reading the last stanza, I finally understood the whole poem, some of which I did NOT understand before the ending. [I also find that the speaker is a son, not a daughter.][I think I fell into the trap of thinking the speaker was the author, YOU! ] “i was scared when i came, ” ………. for example, I thought this line meant “when I came to the cemetery to visit my father’s grave”. now I understand that the speaker also had died and went wherever the father had gone at death. very interesting! I like the poem very much and am sure some others will like it even more, once they understand it. favorite lines: “i was scared when i came, then someone called my name n MA! IT WAS HIM...I SAW MY DAD..... he is so big and hard. anyway, without you, its not the same..” and: “and ma, now i know why i and dad came early.... you won't be alone when you come and we'll be happy in this home... love you ma..........” to MyPoemList. bri :)

Neetha- What a beautiful poem! ! I think the title is very good! ! I love this- good work. your friend, Claudia

Wow! ! ! ! ! ! So beautiful Neetha...! . So moving a tale leaving a lump in our throats! ! Great, my dear! Now it is my turn to say- I am proud of you..... This deserves a 10! ! !

This piece of writing again defies to those who believe in age! ! ! ! ! ! ! here is the example, who can write at such a lucid, convincing rhythm, with beautiful, vivid imagery...... hats off..... keep writing.......

..well written..loved it...nice creative imagination..