Monday, September 5, 2005

As We Fall Comments

Rating: 4.4

as we fall into the water
let us clasp our hands together

bright day is done,
...
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gina prettybrowneyes
COMMENTS
Sonya Florentino 04 August 2009

LOL, you're taking about surviving math here? ... and I thought you were talking about life! let your pen flow!

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Daniel Roxburgh 07 October 2006

Very well done. I love your way with imagery - I can picture this cleary in my minds eye. As far as your spaces, I agree that it might help the pace a bit if you condense it into four line stanza's. However, it isn't absolutely neccessary; it works very well as is. My best, -Daniel

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Kyle Jones 28 September 2006

Wah! Tragic Love Story! you have a way with imagery, you're awsome! Dark, deep, and touching... Just like me.XD hope to hear from you soon. Love, Kyle

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Heather Devlin 14 October 2005

hey...love the writing. you're good. and ty for the comments on myne.

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