As I Lay Embryo-Like Comments

3 - last line: i think you 'want' " fond" , an adjective with two definitions. " Fondly" is an adverb. to MyPoemList bri :) I commented, EXTENSIVELY, IN 2017 & 2018 also!

2 - more favorites: " Yet I lay sedate, unknown to them Like a sunken sun behind the crimson hill" ... I THINK, by " Yet" , if you mean " still/continuing" or " however" , but.. Merrium-Webster's (dictionary) , online, gives other definitions. (cont.)

1 - i saw this on Valsa George's 'favorite poems' list. some favorite lines: " A toy in the hands of bespectacled intelligence Pouring over me in profound seriousness." Depending on where i look, online, i find " sedate" as either an adjective, OR a verb, but not both for some reason. I've only been familiar with the verb form (cont.)

A very relevant piece of poetry here. Today's medical diagnosis and treatment is all of head and little heart. A patient is reduced to a thing and not a living entity. No wonder he has no option to lie down embrio like. Good write.

I PLAN TO PUT THIS POEM AND ITS Malayalam translation: ഞാന്‍ ഭ്രൂണം പോലെ കിടന്നപ്പോള്‍ INTO the November showcase of PH poems by PH poets. November's showcase, not started yet, will feature poems by poets of the Indian subcontinent (again) ., as did September's showcase. Thanks. bri ;)

(cont.) RE: Holding the universe in his fondly clasp. as i mentioned last year, i STILL think you 'want' FOND, not fondly, in the above line. to use fondly i suggest reworking the line as: Holding the universe fondly in his clasp. bri ;) i hope you are (still?) not giving pathologists a positive specimen.

(cont.) i saw that you also have on your site a Malayalam translation: ഞാന്‍ ഭ്രൂണം പോലെ കിടന്നപ്പോള്‍. i did NOT read it (exactly) , as i can't know EVERY language! ! ! English is difficult enough for me to have some grasp of! ! (cont.)

favorite lines so far: A toy in the hands of bespectacled intelligence Pouring over me in profound seriousness. AND That swayed its head Like hyacinth in the wind. OH! i see i have left comments in early 2017, WHEN PH DID NOT LIMIT me and others to '100-200' words....[[ or do they say characters? ? hmm? i've seen it enough times since the change, so i should remember which! ]].

they did both procedures during the same sedation? did they use the same instruments? i hope they washed them between, though i guess if they did the top part first it wouldn't be too bad if they forgot. so, do you have an all clear from the docs? bri :)

favorite lines so far: To look at it later at leisure and To pinch a piece Of an innocent polyp.............i like the alliterations and (what i thought) humor/humour. is a polyp innocent... ..................................................until proven guilty..............by a pathologist! ! ! ? i thought this line humorous as well: God only knows what that would mean. i may now have learned or been reminded of how to use sedate as an adjective, not a verb as it often is in the medical profession, and as you used it also at times here. but i don't sense any pain in the poem, as one commenter seemed to feel you had felt. favorite lines/stanza so far: Yet I lay sedate, unknown to them Like a sunken sun behind the crimson hill Radiating into trees, winds and sky And the last chirps of homing birds, Housing a universe in my heart...................lovely lines! But they, doctors, want to know if you have insurance and...........................................................then, assured that you do, they dig in! ha ha. or ah ha! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - in the last line, might you mean to use fond, maybe definition #4, below? ? ? ? :) Holding the universe in his fondly clasp. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - fond fänd/ adjective adjective: fond; comparative adjective: fonder; superlative adjective: fondest 1- having an affection or liking for. I'm very fond of Mike synonyms: keen on, partial to, addicted to, enthusiastic about, passionate about; More 2- attached to, attracted to, enamored of, in love with, having a soft spot for; informal into, hooked on, gone on, sweet on, struck on she was fond of dancing antonyms: indifferent 3- affectionate; loving. waving a fond farewell to her parents synonyms: adoring, devoted, doting, loving, caring, affectionate, warm, tender, kind, attentive, uxorious her fond husband antonyms: unfeeling 4- (of a hope or belief) foolishly optimistic; naive. synonyms: unrealistic, naive, foolish, overoptimistic, deluded, delusory, absurd, vain, Panglossian a fond hope antonyms: realistic ======================================== my stomach has not been excavated, but my colon has been 'harvested', without sedation i might (and do) add. a bit uncomfortable one of two times, until my body was repositioned. since i was not sedated, i got to listen to what was going on, and watch a monitor showing what was going on inside me. i'm sure i saw a toy soldier in there which i swallowed when i was three! ! ! i've never thought about how it would feel to be embryo-like. thanks. to MyPoemList. bri :)

A fantastic write with beautiful lines.... Yet, they knew me not The one who lay sedate Worlds away from them Holding the universe in his fondly clasp. Very true said, it is very painful just watching everything lying helplessly. Though you have passed through painful situation, you have presented it very well.

Bit by bit even if they cut me up, they will still never find out what ails my being what part of me hurts. WOW! Could learn so much from poets like you. Thanks for sharing

Great indeed! So glad to welcome a great poet to poem hunter! So impressed with your first poem itself! Did they suspect some malignant growth inside......? The procedure of endoscopy and colonoscopy are all tedious! Embryo like, lying sedate is a different experience...... dead to the world and helpless like an embryo!