'' As A Species You Are Way Too Austere '' Comments

bri mar, i'm wondering if the last two stanzas are as you want them. it would seem to me that the line with which you start the last stanza should be the last line (the missing fourth line) of the second-to-last stanza. if that is so, it seems you are missing a fourth line in the last stanza. i have made a mistake similar to this [if it IS a mistake] before, to my amazement. We're sorry we're afraid, but we must look elsewhere, Where we come from fighting is extremely rare, For yourself and others you don't seem to care, You really love to besmear. From a neutral standpoint it has to be said, You Human Beings are all off your head, We are going to speak to the dolphins instead, might i suggest the last line be: NOT the football team; we don't drink beer? i liked, especially: The aliens concluded we were not very bright, They said, ‘' Let's get the Hell out of here ‘' it is an interesting (and i suppose also challenging) rhyme scheme, but the poem may suffer a bit because of it. i just wrote a poem last night about an alien visit. i found it interesting that, when i searched for bri mar, i found you in a poet list but not me, bri edwards. i did find me by searching for me under bri edwards subsequently. thanks for sharing. :) bri (me, not you)